Leaving and Cleaving – A Journey

I don’t think it’s hit me yet that we moved states. To some people it’s not a big deal: people travel and move around all the time. I didn’t travel much growing up, my family didn’t have the opportunities or means to explore outside of Washington state. We had a few trips here and there: Disneyland one time, visiting family across the states twice, some road trips to family reunions, you get the gist. We were just happy being with each other!

When my husband Taylor and I were engaged back in 2015, we were under some stress trying to find a place to live. Both of us were living with our respective families at the time, saving what money we could with the jobs we had. Even so, finding a place to live that is close to family but within our budget was very difficult and created strain on an already stressful season of wedding planning. Our old church pastor and his wife reached out to us, they had a condominium they rented out that was coincidentally equidistant from my family and Taylor’s family. God’s provisions are great, and He orchestrated the perfect living situation for a newly married couple!

As we know in Genesis 2, God calls man and women to cleave to each other, becoming one flesh in marriage. The idea of leaving and cleaving isn’t new to me, but once you are married it becomes a whole new ball game. We were physically leaving our parents by moving out and creating a new life with each other. It took some time however to emotionally “leave” our parents. There were many times in the first several months of marriage where we would talk to our parents before talking to each other about things that we were stuck on or needed advice about. We were still emotionally with our family.

Over time we did cleave to each other more, and we are learning and practicing still! The relationship we had with our families grew stronger as Taylor and I established ourselves as our own new family. Our families were still very much an important part of our lives, and we still saw them on a regular basis. Being in a completely different state from our parents and the rest of our family makes the “leaving” aspect even more relevant. I didn’t realize how much we still rely on family for different things. With the move in the forefront of our lives, we need to hold on to each other now more than ever.

Seeking council on moving away from family has been an eye-opening experience, and it has brought up conversations between Taylor and I that have been so beneficial for us growing closer together and being more intentional with this move. I now feel as if I am truly clinging to Taylor. And I really am! I know this is not the end of the journey, there is always room for growth and of course I am going to be constantly learning about my spouse. But I am glad that we acknowledged how vital it is to leave from our parents and cleave to each other during a big season of change in our lives.

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