This week I would like to lend my platform to my husband, Taylor. Earlier this week we had a pretty lengthy heart to heart reflecting on our marriage and the seasons of life that we’ve endured together. He spoke eloquently and thoughtfully about this topic so I thought it would be insightful for you to hear from him firsthand.
Rachel and I were married in August 2015. Over the 3.5 years since then, our life together could be divided into 2 chapters, and we’d love to share our journey so far and why we’re so excited for the chapters still to come.
The first chapter of our marriage stretches from August 2015 to about October 2017. This was the period of our lives before kids, and as you might imagine, this was a time of relatively little responsibility and fun! We were able to go on multiple vacations each year together and enjoy flexibility and freedom in our daily lives and events.
We had some bumps along the road over this time (namely Rachel and I both losing our jobs at different points), but in retrospect, these trials were relatively easy to handle. We grew in our love for each other and laid a foundation for how to work through things together as we worked through these difficulties. During this chapter, we looked forward with anticipation but didn’t let that get in the way of adventuring before bigger life responsibilities set in.
Looking back, I look back on this period fondly but am glad we’ve grown out of it. Jet Setting to New York, San Diego and Virginia/DC/North Carolina was a blast, but our lives have more depth and meaning now. Our marriage grew as we became familiar with each others habits, likes and dislikes, and simply in how we shared everything with each other. I hope there will be a time in our lives down the road where we get to travel and be spontaneous, but for now, this season has passed.
Chapter 2 spans from about October 2017 to about February 2019. This was a tougher period of life; having a baby, switching to being a single income household and having to be diligent in situations we were tired of was hard. Our life during this period felt full of uncertainty and frustration. The joy of having a new baby quickly turned to tiredness and confusion. Our finances were stretched and we lived in fear of what might happen next.
Thankfully, we’ve gotten ourselves to a place where we can move past this chapter and move into a new one. Our financial situation has improved by moving somewhere with a much lower cost of living while earning about the same amount of money. Our struggles with lack of sleep and handling a newborn have improved as our son has learned to sleep better and we’ve gotten a better handle on how to raise small children. My job struggles and terrible commute have improved as I now work in a company and role that I enjoy and am growing in. Our relationships are growing stronger as we’ve learned we need to take them more seriously, and even though we’re away from family now, we feel like we’re at home and thriving instead of just trying to get through another month.
This was undoubtedly a dark time. The joy and freedom we had in Chapter 1 did not carry into Chapter 2. Our life was not filled with excited anticipation of our future, it was filled with dread of what difficulty was right around the corner this time. This stretch of life made us undeniably stronger though; I have a greater appreciation for having a good job as opposed to one I dread going to each day, our marriage has withstood tests and survived, and our outlook isn’t one of fear but one of hope.
Now, we stand at the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. As such, I wonder what the next chapter holds for us. I sure hope it isn’t filled with the struggles we had in Chapter 2, but I know the happiness we will hopefully experience won’t come from frequent travel and spontaneous entertainment like Chapter 1.
We have a mortgage now, we’re involved in our church, we have a toddler who’s growing into a person, and we’re taking our lives seriously as we build towards our future. I don’t know how much control we will have on how our lives will be defined in this next chapter but I hope our future will be defined by joy, serving God, growing deeper in love for each other, pouring into a very young person’s life as he grows up, and building long lasting relationships.
As always, we will strive to give glory and honor to God and to love each other more every day. Our marriage is strong and growing all the more because of what we’ve been through in these first 2 chapters, and I hope it continues to grow as we lean on each other in future chapters. Assuming Rachel keeps up with her weekly blogs, I hope we’ll get to share with you our adventures in the months and years to come. Thanks for reading!