With Mother’s Day this weekend, I can’t help but to write about my feelings and experience of being a young mom. In the very beginning of my motherhood journey, I felt slightly ashamed of being a mom so young. I felt as if people would judge me and think less of me because of my choice. Getting pregnant at twenty opens up doors for lots of judgement in being careless or opinions that I might regret it. In all reality, it was a decision I was well aware of, and very intentional in. I’ve since had time to grow into this new role for me and to embrace the change, and I am now proud to be a young mom and start a family in my early twenties. I am learning lessons I wouldn’t otherwise learn being in this stage of life. I think beyond myself when making decisions and am more considerate of other people’s situations and feelings. I am also seeing life from a new perspective, and that’s through the eyes of my son.
The first week of being a new mom was the hardest. I cried from lack of sleep, pain and frustration from trying to navigate breastfeeding and the shame and failure that came along when I couldn’t. I cried from the utter realization that my life will never be the same again and this is the new “normal”. This time I begged God to comfort me and give me some sort of hope to cling to. I rested in Hosea 6:1-3.
“Come, let us return to the Lord; for He has torn us, that He may heal us; He has struck us down, and He will bind us up. After two days He will revive us; on the third day He will raise us up, that we may live before Him. Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; HIs going out is sure as the dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains water the earth.”
What’s amazing to me as a mom is to see my son discover the world for the first time. He has so much joy in the little things in life… looking at airplanes in the sky, petting our cats, playing in water, these all bring a smile to his face and it makes me so happy! I get so caught up and distracted by chores or other things I could be doing with my time but the reality of it is that these learning moments aren’t going to last forever. There will always be chores to do, chores are never ending. My son will not always want to cuddle with me or laugh with me. When I devote all my attention to that little ray of sunshine, I get a glimpse into his working mind and experience the joy of discovery. He approaches everything in life with excitement and curiosity. He is just a happy kid and I see so many amazing things in him.
You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they will be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Just breathe, notice their little faces and little feet. Pay attention. Enjoy today, it’ll be over before you know it.